overwhelmed, excited, TIRED!

So I am doing some homework right now...I am trying to finish projects early and keep on top of things so that I won't be too stressed out about school whenever March comes around...which WOW is so soon, it is already almost February!! Where has this month gone?! BUT decided to take a break because there are some things on my mind...This entry could really be divided into about 3 sections, that is just how much is on my mind...big surprise there...

Entry 1: Baby Max

Baby's going through major brain and nerve development these days. His irises now react to light, and all five senses are in working order.

I will be 31 weeks tomorrow, that means in 9 weeks little baby Max will be here, and who knows maybe even before that!! Today I had a doctors appointment today and everything is perfect :) I am measuring to be the right size, the baby is healthy and has a perfect heartbeat...and I am still not gaining more weight than I should...but from here on out the baby will be gaining 1/2 a pound each week (at least) well until about a week or so before he comes... and he already weights 3.5 pounds!! It is insane how fast he is growing! Anyways, my doctor talked to me today about creating a birth plan for when Max comes and let me just say...OVERWHELMING! There are so many different things that you can choose to have done or not...and I have never been pregnant before, how am I supposed to know if I want a certain type of shot in my newborn baby or not? AND then there is the task of finding a pediatrician, apparently I have to know the name of the Pediatrician before they do anything the day of labor...I have no clue...It is a good thing I have 9 weeks to figure these things out.  The more I learn the more I realize how naive I was at the beginning of this pregnancy... for example... I had no idea that it is perfectly normal to stay in the hospital for up to 3 days after having a baby...shoot I thought you pop the baby out and go home. NOPE! And thats great and all but I have never had to spend the night in a hospital before and I am not sure I will be a big fan... ANOTHER thing, I thought that they circumcised the baby boy right after birth...nope not until the next day...I don't really have an opinion on that either way I was just surprised because for some reason I thought it was right after...all of this to say: I thought I was finally getting all the information and starting to understand this whole process just to find out that Labor & Delivery is a WHOLE different journey and packed FULL of information that I find a.) overwhelming b.) somewhat unnecessary to know c.) SCARY!

Entry 2: Friendships

Something has been on my mind this past week, friendships. It is really sad how some friendships just fall apart and for no apparent reason. One day you are friends and the next thing you realize you never hear from them, they never try to contact you, they don't respond to your emails, texts, calls, nothing. You wonder what you did wrong, how you can fix it...then you realize maybe no one did anything wrong...maybe that is it...no one did anything. You cannot have a friendship with someone who doesn't make the effort. It is really sad because I can think of a number of people that I had in my life this time last year who I thought were my best friends and would be there for me through everything life tossed at me but I was wrong...because now that I look around they aren't around.

While I am sad about this part of me is okay with it because God has brought new people into my life who have brought such positive attitudes with them, you know who you are. Me and Jeremy are so blessed to have great friends and family around us especially right now that we are going through so many changes and such excitement! BUT there are times... in the quiet times when I get a little sad that some of my friends from the past didn't make it to now...and these people I have such amazing and fun memories with. It sucks! And it isn't as if there was some HUGE fight or blow up that caused us to not be as close it just happened...slowly...and it just seems as if we drifted apart. I guess that happens as you grow up, you drift apart and find new hobbies and interests. And maybe it is a good thing that it happened because maybe now we don't have the same things on our minds and don't know how to act around each other, so maybe it is a good thing we have the good memories to remember. Hmmm I don't know just my thoughts written out...sound a little jumbled but they make sense to me.

Entry 3: My little "pep talk"

Verse of the Day:
"You cannot add any time to your life by worrying about it." Matthew 6:27

Anxiety is an expensive habit. Of course, it might be worth the cost if it worked. But it doesn't. Our frets are futile.
Worry has never brightened a day, solved a problem, or cured a disease.
God leads us. God will do the right thing at the right time. And what a difference that makes.

I need to remember this verse everyday because I am unfortunately a worry wart. I know deep down that everything will be just fine but some days it is just a hard concept for me to realize. Thank goodness I have Jeremy to keep me in line and he helps me from freaking out as much. "If God leads us to it, He will bring us through it!"